Things I (should not) have done as a solo female traveller

It could happen to anyone.

That was one of my first thoughts when reading about the death of Singaporean woman Audrey Fang, who was found dead in Spain with 30 stab wounds.

The news also made me consider how much I take safety for granted even when travelling as a lone female, having lived in Singapore all my life.

I went solo for the first time at the age of 22 and have been hooked since. I spent 12 days in Krabi, Khao Yai and Bangkok – and it remains one of my most unforgettable trips to date. 

Picture snorkelling with fishes in crystal clear waters, climbing more than 1,200 steps to reach one of the most stunning views ever, camping in a forest and falling asleep to the sounds of wild elephants, and feeling like the possibilities are endless.

Because it is such an entirely different experience from travelling with companions, I make it a point to do at least one solo trip every year. Greece, Japan and Vietnam are some of the countries I have checked off my list. It is liberating, to feel so free and untethered. 

But by no means do I consider myself an expert, which was why I felt so much imposter syndrome when tasked with writing a piece on the topic.

Sure, I can share safety tips like dressing appropriately or not flaunting your valuables – all of which you probably already know or can read anywhere else.

But that would only make me feel like a fraud because to be honest, I am not the most vigilant person. Instead of putting labels on myself, I would say I just do what feels right.

While I count myself lucky that I have not had any unpleasant experiences in my years of travelling solo, recent events have left me contemplating whether I am perhaps too lax when it comes to my own safety.

Not sharing my location with anyone

The consensus is that you should share your itinerary with loved ones at home or regularly update them on your location.

Yet I am a private person and that includes a tendency not to inform anyone of my whereabouts when overseas. After all, the point of a holiday for me is escapism: Getting away from everything (and everyone?) to recharge.

That means I do not post my real-time location on social media either.

In 2019, I lied to my mum that I was going for a leisurely vacation – when in fact I was planning to hike Everest Base Camp – so as to not worry her. Not my wisest decision, but she somehow figured it all out even before I flew. No wonder they say mother knows best.

Walking on the streets in the dark

This sounds like an obvious no-no, but hear me out.

I like milking the most out of my day and that sometimes means staying out later than I probably should. Living in Singapore – undoubtedly one of the safest countries in the world and also incredibly walkable – might have also contributed to my sense of complacency.

Of course, I do my research in advance and avoid areas known for having higher crime rates or being sleazy. So far, I have not had any unsavoury encounters and find that the best way to deal with touts, catcalls or any unwanted attention is to simply ignore them. 

Personally, I love exploring places by foot and seeing how they differ day and night.

Meeting strangers

My mum will probably flip out if she reads this.

While I have not – and probably will never – fly somewhere just to meet someone for the first time, I am not opposed to befriending new people in a foreign land.

A local asked me out when I was in Istanbul last September and I said yes as I thought it would be a fun way to spend my last night in Turkey. Not only did I get to see a side of the city I wouldn’t have otherwise known, I was also introduced to experiences not commonly found on any tourist map.

It was a nice night and I made a new friend. To think that I nearly missed witnessing the streets come alive with music, laughter and a flurry of activities. It was a total transformation from the heat and crowds of Istanbul in the day.

I guess that’s what has me so in love with solo travel: It gets me out of my comfort zone. It makes me realise how resilient human beings are, and that I am capable of so much more than I think.

It is challenging, healing and empowering all at once. It allows me to discover not just memorable experiences, but also a lot about myself.

Sure, you can never be too careful and there are definitely areas I need to work on. At the same time, there are also certain things that have never steered me wrong:

• Always do your research
• Avoid standing out
• Trust your instincts

Now I just need to come clean to my mum about the upcoming solo trips that I have planned.