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SO here I am, trying to reach the yusheng with my disposable chopsticks between the bodies of my colleagues during the office 'lo hei'. Why am I doing this? I suppose it's because this tradition of tossing the yusheng during Chinese New Year is believed to bring prosperity in the coming year. The problem is I did the same thing a year ago and in the ensuing 12 months, I didn't prosper that much, if at all. For one thing, I'm 'lo hei'-ing with more or less the same bunch of losers as last year. And it seems the yusheng didn't work for them just like it didn't work for me. Otherwise, they wouldn't be stuck with me as their colleague either. Remember Color Me Badd? No, you don't and I'll tell you why. '90s boys Color Me Badd was a US boyband that had string of hits, like I Wanna Sex You Up, in the early '90s. In February 1994, the four-member group came to Singapore and was scheduled to appear on a local TV variety show I happened to be working on at the time. Since it was around Chinese New Year, someone - not me - had the bright idea of having the four guys 'lo hei' on the show. So during the live telecast, after Color Me Badd performed its final number in the packed TV studio, a huge plate of yusheng was brought out. The young Americans were each given a pair of of extra-long chopsticks as the exotic custom of tossing the yusheng was briefly explained to them. They were told that the higher they could toss the yusheng with their chopsticks, the better. Unfortunately, no one told them that they should also try to keep the yusheng on the plate. So once the lo hei began, shredded vegetable and other carefully prepared ingredients flew all over the place. The crowd went nuts. The credits rolled as everyone picked bits of food out of their hair and clothes. It was great TV, but as I expected, a few days later, the show received a letter from an offended viewer berating us for making fun of a revered Chinese tradition. We were lucky not to be called up by ISD. Color Me Badd's fortunes faded after that. You could colour the group broken up a few years later. Wait. So maybe I'm not getting prosperous from my yearly lo hei because I've been doing it wrong all this time. Which means I probably won't win the Toto $10 million Hongbao Draw this year either. Dare I even go near the new casino? Colour me prosper-less. See you losers again next year.
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