IF YOU haven't seen Lady Gaga's Bad Romance video, it's kind of hard to explain.

Imagine that the spaceship in 2001: A Space Odyssey had a bordello, and in that bordello they were filming a perfume commercial.

Everything in white. Skin-tight latex. Flawless expanses of pink flesh. Fembots dancing provocatively. A polar bear rug. Weird-looking Eurotrash guys apparently choreographing all the action with video-game controllers.

 And there in the middle of it all is Ms Gaga, wearing much less and working it much harder than anyone.

Suffice it to say that it's all pretty eye-catching.

Or at least my six-year-old son Jet thought so.

My family had been lazing around a couple of Sundays ago, the television tuned to MTV.

I was the only one really watching, which, as a 42-year-old guy, is kind of embarrassing to admit. Anyway, as soon as Lady Gaga came on, I had company, as the oh-so-innocent eyeballs of my boy swivelled alarmingly in her direction.  

He did not look away. He could not look away.

'Why are those boys watching those girls dance?' he asked.

'Uh,' I replied.

My wife, who was hugely amused, sort of came to the rescue, saying: 'It's like they're watching a movie.'

It didn't really answer the question at all, but Jet didn't press the issue; he was too busy 'watching the movie' himself.

Truly, how does one explain Lady Gaga to a six-year-old?

Never mind the birds and the bees, with this girl, it's more like raptors and hornets. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I'd be qualified to expound on the subject of Lady Gaga-calibre sexuality.

It's always tricky for parents to figure out when and how much their children should be exposed to adult-oriented entertainment.

No racy stuff, please

My wife and I aren't particularly conservative, but we're pretty careful about keeping the kids away from racy material.

The closest they've come to inappropriate content is probably watching Vanessa Hudgens prance around in High School Musical. Then again, I'm probably projecting. I'm sure they're not thinking the same sorts of things that I'm thinking about Vanessa Hudgens.

At least, dear lord, I hope not.

I don't think I have much to worry about with Jet as far as his attitude towards women is concerned.

My wife and I will occasionally tease him about the girls in his class.

'Who's the prettiest?' my wife once asked.

'They're all pretty,' he replied, which of course is the perfect answer.

Some parents might consider Lady Gaga's overt sexuality to be completely inappropriate for a kid in Primary 1 and that's cool, but I must say that I found Jet's fascination with her performance rather cute.

I felt as if I were witnessing another 'first'.

His first step. His first word. His first tooth. And now his first 'yowza!'

Even so, if he grows up to have some sort of weird fondness for polar bear rugs, I'll know exactly who to blame.

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